Anaconda - 1997
When you can't breathe, you can't scream.
(....also if your eyes are closed, you can't see.)
Director Luis Llosa creates one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Some people have said this movie is so bad, it's good. I think it's just bad. Jennifer Lopez, Owen Wilson, Jon Voight, Frank Welker and Ice Cube drag themselves and their careers through the mud, literally at some points, in this Apocalypse Now meets Roger Rabbit train wreck. The actors spend a lot of time travelling down river on a boat, the CGI snakes move faster than physics could possibly allow and the acting is so corny that it hurts.Basically a film crew goes looking for the worlds biggest snakes. They find them and are eaten by them. There are explosions and something of a contest to see who can die in the most ridiculous fashion. Some of them survive and we're ready for the sequel.
With such an all-star cast, you've got to wonder what went wrong. Unfortunately I am left blaming some combination of script, directing and the terrible special effects. IMDb calls Anaconda the 14th worst movie of all time. Unfortunately they label Armageddon as number 12, so I take that list with a grain of salt. I consider Armageddon to be absurd at times but overall an excellent flick.
I only reviewed this movie so I could set the standard and score for what I feel is one of the worst. I accept the fact that many people will go see this just to see how bad it is and I suppose there is a certain enjoyment to be had from that. With every movie, there is always a least a few fans who fall in love with the movie for whatever reason but I haven't met anyone who thinks this isn't a bad movie.
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